Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Daddy Dornbucks

I was hanging out in Orgrimmar the other day when I heard the unmistakable sound of show tunes coming from the Valley of Honor. Never one to miss a good musical, I wandered over to see what was up. How surprised do you think I was when I saw a little kid belting out "It's a Hard Knock Life" for all he was worth? I had to get this kid out of here and take him on an educational tour of the real world to prepare him for what will surely amount to a fabulous career. In short, I had to gay it forward.

I think the orphanage matron got the wrong idea, but 50 gold shut her up and she looked the other way. Little Orphan Faggie and I were off. I figured the best thing for this kid would be for him to just tag around with me on my daily routine. First we went to blow Hodir's horn.

Not bad for a first timer. My only other criticism would be that he used his hand too much while blowing...but these are things you learn over time. Next we went to catch up on the guild gossip with the girls.

Here we learned a valuable lesson: How your gear looks is much more important than what it does for your stats. If he learns nothing else from me, I hope he remembers this.

One of my guildies sent me a hot tip (no pun intended) on another "dick hidden in the landscape of Azeroth" so we went to go check it out.

Yup. He was right. That's not even remotely hidden. It's just...a giant dick.

This is usually the point in the day when I get shit faced and ride around on my motorcycle until I crash into something. While this isn't something I'm proud of nor is it a good example in front of the youngin, I don't want to sugar coat things for him.

Not to fear however...there's still a good lesson to be learned from this experience.


  1. omg.... one day.... one day, i'm gonna xfer and totally be the best holy priest your guild has EVER EVER seen... until now... I'll stick with josh giving me road head.

  2. I'm, afraid you would have to settle for the potential of 2nd best...I raided as a holy priest vanilla -> BC...on a related note I'd totally bang the Spirit of Redemption if I was str8.

  3. ty kerpies...you're the best. guild. jailbait. ever.