Sunday, June 21, 2009

I'm a lazy queen Dorn...educate me please!

Well it's that time again...there's a new major content patch on the PTRs. For those lazy bitches that don't like to read patch notes, I'll point out the homocentric changes for you:

Northrend Children's Week has arrived in Dalaran! Players can find out more by visiting the Eventide District.

  • That's right! Time to stock up on candy and clean out the van...we get to corrupt the youngins again.

Chains of Ice: Now reduces movement by 95% instead of 100%.
  • Only 5% less gay than the old version. Think Elton John instead of Richard Simmons.
Ominous Clouds in the Yogg-Saron encounter are now more vocal about touching players.

Look for another edition of Dorn's Big Gay Mailbox sometime mid week. There's still time to submit your questions! Ask anything and everything...send to

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Be there or be...straight.

I'm not usually a "pride parade" kind of homo...but this sounds like a lot of fun! I'm gonna roll an alt horde side on Proudmoore and join in the festivities. Who else is gonna join me?

From Bigheadben on the forums:

If you make an alt on Proudmoore to participate on the morning of Saturday June 20th, look for KRIMON on hordeside for an invite to our guest guild (Tainter for Today) . Hope to see tons of guests and happy pride month to all!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Whatever you do, don't look him in the eyes!

Like a lot of raiding guilds recently, we've filled in our raid roster with 4 or 5 new recruits. New guildies are excellent cannon fodder to try out your new material on. Nothing is quite as satisfying as verbally shitting all over them the first time they make a "That was so gay!" slip in guild chat. It's become sort of a rite of passage in my guild...Dorn makes you as uncomfortable as possible for a little bit, then you move on with life.

Yes, it was quite the good time. I say was because the officers have taken it upon themselves to "warn" people about me during their interview. Like I'm the fucking creepy uncle that mommy won't leave you alone with after 3 wine spritzers at Christmas. Like I'm going to reach through the internets and play with their joystick against their will. Like they better keep thinking of vag while around me or my aura will turn them fag. Like you better not be in a vent channel alone with me cause chances are I'm playing with myself while you talk about the loot on your wish list. maybe that last one has some truth in it. Nevertheless, I kind of wish I didn't come attached with a warning. I guess it just means I'm going to have to work harder to attain shock value. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Government 1, Dorn 0

I started a new job yesterday. I'm horribly under qualified and ridiculously over payed. You guessed it, I took a job with the state. New jobs are fun because I get to play another round of my two favorite games: "Find the homos" and "Find the WoW players"

The first one is pretty easy. Look for a dude working at a secretarial or assistant level. Failing that find anything with a penis that's working in HR.

Finding the WoW players is usually pretty easy trip to IT tends to sort that out rather quick. I had to make that trip today to get some network crap figured out. As I was about to open the door I made a silent bet with myself that I would interrupt 2 rather scruffy looking nerd types talking about how Mimi was getting the nerf bat rammed up his ass sideways in the next patch. I couldn't have been more wrong.

There wasn't a guy in site. There was nothing but attractive clueless women. Not only did these girls not play Warcraft, but I'm fairly convinced they couldn't spell computer let alone provide me with proper passwords to access mine. Needless to say I didn't get the level of service I was expecting. Welcome to government work I guess.