And I just can't hide it.

I'm freakin excited. No idea why. Is it odd to be in a really great mood all day long for no good reason? Why am I taking the time to tell you all this? We may never no. Anyway...time for dinner then Idol...I'll prolly shit out a WoW related post after the show :)

Oh dear Hodir, where's your spear?

Shortly after hitting 80 I remember beginning the grind for exalted Son's of Hodir rep. It was long and painful, like most rep grinds are, but I didn't completely mind it because of the nature of the quests. During the course of these dailies you got to polish the helm, blow the horn and thrust the spear. Someone at Blizzard clearly was expressing their sense of humor (dick jokes) when he or she came up with these quest names. Enter patch 3.1 and the introduction of Ulduar. Smack dab in the middle of the instance is Hodir himself! I was super excited to get a look at this guy seeing as I've been playing with his junk for the last couple months. Imagine my dismay/shock/outrage when I finally got a look at him last night for the first time.


Where's the helm? No fuckin horn to blow. And there sure as shit isn't a spear. This guy's got a skull right where his junk should be and it looks exactly like a vagina. (Note the gaping hole and teeth.) Was I the only one expecting Hodir to be hung like a fucking horse? Shit, even if he was holding a spear I woulda been happy. I don't know...I guess I just feel a little mislead.

Anatomical green pls.

I spend a good amount of time chilling in Dalaran waiting for something to happen. Most of this time is spent wearing as little as possible. Can you blame me? Look at that rockin bod. It's a crime to keep it covered up. All the gear trends these days leave way too much to the imagination. Would it kill Blizzard to design some fashion forward, custom couture for those that work hard to keep their bodies at the peak of perfection? Anyway, I digress...I was trolling through Dalaran looking for an afk guildie the other day when an aspiring e-Hag (careful Maya, Mira's gunning for your job!) sent me an amazing link to a product I just had to take the time to share with you today. My plan is to give this thing a try irl, then if satisfied with the results, begin a campaign to get it included in game. So without further ado I present the Playazon "Hands-Free" Merkin Flashlight.

For a paltry $45 U.S. you too can own this revolutionary advance in crotch illumination:




From their website: The perfect marriage of form and function - our Merkin Flashlight helps leave something to the imagination as well as providing hands free illumination. This three-bulb, ultra-bright L.E.D. light provides three levels of constant light output and two blinking "lure" modes. The pivoting lamp head allows you to shine light exactly where you want. Comes with two fun-fur hair pieces (anatomical pink and arctic white) and five strips of Opti-Tape 42*, an extended wear toupee tape that provides up to six weeks of continuous adhesion per application. L.E.D. light runs on three AAA alkaline batteries (included.)

Ok. A few things. I can't figure out the gender of the model in the picture. Is that a chick with large thighs and no hips? A dude with no body hair and a small package? Still not sure. (Please feel free to comment with your opinion and justification!) Second, why would you ever turn this baby off of "lure" mode? I wish every article of clothing had that! And what's with the tape providing "six weeks of continuous adhesion." Are you not suppose to take it off in that time? Is the light shower friendly?

On a further note, the warning about the tape is slightly ominous: WARNING: We strongly advise NOT to use this tape as an impromptu waxing substitute - IT CAN REMOVE MORE THAN JUST YOUR HAIR!

Sweet Jesus. That would be interesting. I'm willing to bet however that if you have $45 to spend on this fine piece of...ingenuity...you have the disposable income to get your own wax.

Other than these minor concerns, this is clearly an excellent product, so I'm gonna go ahead and place my order to get the irl test drive going. I'm going to need your help however in getting this implemented in game. Would it be a tailoring item? Engineering? What would the mats be? Something to think on for sure.

LF1M Lesbian

It has come to my attention that "WoW... There are Homos Here!" is not living up to the full potential of it's name. Some readers have expressed interest in seeing more posts devoted to lesbians that play WoW. (Although I suspect these are just str8 guys trying to...idk what they're trying really...I never understood their fascination with the munchers.) After a little investigation I found out that lesbians are indeed part of the gay community. All this time I thought the "L" in "LGBT" stood for lascivious, and was simply an adjective for the "G." My bad. I'd be more than happy to include y'all here at W...TaHH (I need a better abbreviation I think) but I really don't think I'm the right fag for the job. Let me explain.

When I first moved to New Orleans from NY for school, one of my first encounters with the "community" was Southern Decadence. Basically it's the New Orleans version of a pride festival..but most simply call it Gay Mardi Gras. It was after a long night in the French Quarter for Decadence that a friend and I found ourselves at a 24 hour diner at about 3 a.m. The place was mobbed and management was putting groups of 2 together to fill up the 4 person tables. So my friend (think me but gayer) and I were sat with...wait for it...the 2 butchiest lesbians ON THE ENTIRE PLANET. I was scared. The only thing I knew about lesbians was the basic stereotypes and bits and pieces of information picked up from Jack McFarland.



It was just about the most awkward meal ever. One of the lesbians made fun of me for not finishing my food and it took all of my reserve to keep the snarky reply from exiting my lips. If I hadn't I prolly would have exited the restaurant through the window.

So I need help. I need an honest to goodness lesbian to join the team here and blog about lesbians that play WoW. If you (or someone you know) have a closet full of flannel, a house full of cats and more than 1 pair of birkenstocks and plays WoW and can "bring the funny" here at W... TaHH, contact me at Dornilust@gmail.com with a sample post about our favorite lesbo commune in Azeroth, the Brunnhildar.

Silence is (for now) golden.

Today was the National Day of Silence. Now I'm not usually one to get all fuckin preachy and shit over stuff like this, but truth be told this particular issue hits kind of close to home...as I'm sure it does with any of you queens that went to high school. So keep up the good fight young gay dudes! (and call me when you turn 18)

And keeping with the PSA theme...

I explained earlier that part of your job as the guild homo was to make for the awkward lulz on vent during raids. Although in general this policy is still in effect, we might want to tone it down for the next little bit while learning new content. With Naxx being easy mode almost right from the beginning it was no problem to shit out on vent anything even remotely gay the second you thought of it without regard for what exactly was going on in game. Now that stuff is...ya know...kinda hard, it's prolly best to keep the majority of the lulz off vent and in /raid chat lest you become the victim of a hate crime. Nothing is more annoying than hearing some fairy talk about "bum bots" (what I renamed Deconstructor's adds...I'm so clever) in the middle of learning attempts.

Christ, serious post is serious...back to your regularly scheduled faggotry tomorrow.

8================D

First off, a big thank you to Sargeras for baring his soul here for us yesterday. It takes a brave man to admit his unsavory desires. I was however a little disappointed he didn't take his confession to the next logical step. I'm not typically one to out a guy, but he's gonna destroy us all anyway...so what is there to lose? Not only is Sarge a planetphile, but a gay one at that. How do I know this? Cause Azeroth is a dude...and I got the pictures to prove it. There are dicks all over this place. Everywhere. Just take a look around and you'll see you can't take 5 steps without a cock and balls in the face.

So...yeah. All over the place, and there's plenty more where that came from. So now you're thinking, "But Dorn! Just because the place has phallic shaped objects all over it doesn't make a guy that has sex with it (still trying to wrap my mind around this one) a homo. Well lets take this out of planet sized proportions so that our mere mortal minds can comprehend. Would a dude be gay if he were to have relations with:

I rest my case.

Guest Post: The Confession of Sargeras

Hey everyone, Sargeras here. Lord of the Burning Legion, Destroyer of Worlds, Chairman of the Commission on Assorted Badness and Peccadilloes. You know the drill.

Anyway, there's something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while now, and when Dorn asked me to do a guest post on his blog, I knew it was the perfect opportunity.

You see, when Eonar and I broke up, it wasn't just because of the whole Goth-and-evil thing. It was because...

*deep breath* Come on, Sargeras. You can do this.

It was because I had...other needs. Needs she couldn't satisfy.

Don't get me wrong, Eonar was easy to talk to, scorching hot, and tons of fun in the sack. She had her issues, of course, but then I had mine too. It wasn't that. It was something...else.

My attractions lay elsewhere. Toward something I knew no woman could satisfy.

That's right - I wanted Azeroth.

The first time I saw it, it was young, naive; in those days it didn't bother with the cover of an atmosphere, and even later, the shifting clouds revealed more than they hid. Little imagination was required. The soft, supple curves of its hills...the secret moisture of its oceans...it was all a rush for me; I was overwhelmed by these new sensations. I scarcely knew what I was feeling.

After all, it was "only" a planet.

At first, when Eonar noticed how much time I would spend with Azeroth - the long hours kneeling on its plains, just "touching up" the Titans' work - she would make little jokes about it. "I think you love that planet more than you love me," she would say. Or she'd cock an eyebrow and tell me she was getting jealous. And she'd laugh.

I'd laugh too, but my laughter was forced. There was too much truth in those jokes.

One day, once my real affections had become all too obvious, she finally confronted me. She yelled; she pleaded; she wept. But what could I say?

I am what I am.

I was banished, but I watched my little world from afar - though it was not so little anymore. Its smooth hills had grown into mountains, and short waving grass grew on its steppes. It was no longer a planetoid but a mature planet. I knew I had to have it. I spoke to Azshara from afar, whispering sweet promises in her ear, but of course all the time I was only thinking of my Azeroth. She opened the portal, expecting me to come. And I came - but not for her.

In a furious ecstasy, I thrust my armies into Azeroth's portal, and I'm afraid I was not gentle - I ripped its supercontinent badly. They say it never heals. I withdrew for a time, but before long I needed more.

I traveled the galaxy, looking for other planets. I found thousands. Most were unguarded; some were nervous, some eager, some already ravaged by other forces. I had my fill. Enough to know that this was what I really longed for. Enough to know that I would never be happy with anything else.

Enough to know that there would never be any other like Azeroth.

And so I waited, gathering my strength...and then I entered it again.

Azeroth knew my needs by now, and returned the favor, playing the game and drawing it out. I sent my forces in again, again, faster and stronger each time. I tried new tactical positions. The world underwent two "expansions," each more enjoyable than the last. Even now it is yielding, but not too easily - not too soon. We're getting closer, though...closer...closer...and even now we approach the climax -

I've said too much.

Judge me if you like; I can't stop you. Just...don't tell my blog readers, please.

They...

They wouldn't understand.