Saturday, February 27, 2010

This thing still on? this thing kind of went the way of the dodo bird. Sorry. A lot has happened in the 8 months since I posted. Here's a quick recap:
  • I quit playing Warcraft.
  • I started playing Warcraft again.
  • I ate a delicious sandwich.
  • I quit playing Warcraft.
  • I had a C6-7 anterior cervical discectomy fusion with allograft and plating.
  • I'm in a neck brace and no working or driving for the next month or so.
While I sit here in the gayest neck brace ever (broke out the Bedazzler on this bitch) I've decided to wipe the dust off and blog again. I know what you're thinking: "But Dorn, you don't play WoW anymore. What the fuck are you gonna talk about?" In a word? Faggotry. It's all around us. It permeates us (the bottoms anyway) and I've realized that this is the one forum where I can speak what's truly on my mind and not feel ashamed or embarrassed for lending voice to thought. And what was SOOOO gay that it pulled me out of retirement? Why, male figure skating of course!

If anyone was looking for Tinkerbelle Feb 16-18 you could have found her easily in Vancouver. She was a little busy shitting all over the competitor's costumes, but she was there. I love pink. I love sweater vests. I love the pattern on this particular pink sweater vest. But this is where I depart from the homo party line: I hate glitter....and I don't mean the Mariah Carey movie. Unfortunately it's "in" at the moment and I was forced to suffer (until now) in silence. Lately whenever someone tries to tell me that male figure skaters aren't giant mo's, I point to this picture of Michal Brezina of the Czech Republic in all his glittery, pinkish, sweater vesty glory. He even has his mouth open as if anticipating...something.

It doesn't end here. This is by no means a rogue example. Behold, Evan Lysacek, winner of the gold medal:
Snakes? Really? If I were a "straight" man engaged in a sport that required form fitting clothing, leaps, twirls, glitter, music, an artistic score, spirit fingers and even more glitter I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have 2 dildoesque snakes sewn around my body. Just sayin. And what exactly is that shoulder situation? Everyone knows the gays do fun shoulders!

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