Does this tabbard make my tits look good?

In a recent post a fellow WoW blogger made some excellent suggestions on how to survive your trial period as a new member to a raiding guild. I'd like to take a moment and expand on one of the topics: Girls. Vagina nastiness aside (you have no idea how much restraint it took just now to not recycle the roast beef picture) some of these bitches just kill me when it comes to raiding. To be fair, most of their usual tricks aren't an option on the internets. Can't exactly wear a low cut shirt and let the twins do your talking for you. (e-Hag edit: Cue how I got 3rd place in that programming competition...) Perfume is also equally useless. I thought that the playing field would be levelled by these handicaps therefore they would be treated and act like every other person in the guild. WRONG!


Simply put, your average WoW player ain't gettin pussy. E-flirting is as good as it gets for a lot of these guys. Sad but true. How else can you explain the effectiveness of these tramps at getting what they want?

*Valley Girl voice* "Hehehehe...I like totally don't know how to do that" *Slutty Tramp voice* "Can you show me? I'd really like it if you did."

Gag me with a fucking spoon. Don't worry though, I have a plan. It's time to fight back. That's right queens, we're gonna start a war. Our weapon of choice? Rumors. Ugly, nasty, vicious rumors. This is where your e-Hag comes in. (Being your e-Hag she's exempt from our wrath and allowed to go about her slutty ways...for now) (Wait, wait. Wait. I'm pretty sure you just called me a slut...) She will plant the seed for most of the horrible untruths. Hell, chances are one of them will be right on the money anyway. This is normally where I would provide a list of acceptable rumors to spread...but truth be told I WANT COMMENTS. So...y'all need to start pitching in. This is a group effort after all. Click that button down there (not the vagina) and gimme your best rumors. You post em and I'll get Maya to start spreading em. (again, not the vagina) (But what if I -want- to spread the vagina instead of truths?) .... (that didn't come out right.)