How could I say no?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Some people are weird.
Hey folks, this post is not directed at an overwhelming majority of you. Of the thousands of visitors I've gotten on this blog this post is meant for 14 of you (although I suppose it's possible the culprit is just 1 person) What's got my panties in a bunch? Take a look at the search phrases people are using to get to my site.
What the fuck. Srsly? What the fuck. I just...yeah idk.
vagina flag: Vagina's don't have flags...at least I don't think they do. Even if they did, you sure as shit wouldn't find it on my site.
things that look like vagina: Fair enough I guess. Kinda walked into that one.
hidden objects in vaginas: Sounds like a fun game...NOT!
vagina close up spread: For a gay man's blog I'm getting way too much vag traffic.
assorted horse perversions: I didn't even mention the word horse. I'm sorry those searches brought you here. Y'all definitely didn't find what you were looking for.
wow blogs lesbian: They don't exist...I've tried looking already.
get a good reach around: Let me know when ya find one please.
vagina during labour real photo: No thank you.
guy sticks head in vagina: An interesting idea. This may grant a better understanding of the beast.
warcraft payers going to hell: Haha...you found me :) Welcome!
vagina flag: Vagina's don't have flags...at least I don't think they do. Even if they did, you sure as shit wouldn't find it on my site.
things that look like vagina: Fair enough I guess. Kinda walked into that one.
hidden objects in vaginas: Sounds like a fun game...NOT!
vagina close up spread: For a gay man's blog I'm getting way too much vag traffic.
assorted horse perversions: I didn't even mention the word horse. I'm sorry those searches brought you here. Y'all definitely didn't find what you were looking for.
wow blogs lesbian: They don't exist...I've tried looking already.
get a good reach around: Let me know when ya find one please.
vagina during labour real photo: No thank you.
guy sticks head in vagina: An interesting idea. This may grant a better understanding of the beast.
warcraft payers going to hell: Haha...you found me :) Welcome!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
5 thoughts for the price of 1
Here's some random information that I wanted to get out there shotgun style:
1) I'd like to do a recurring "Ask a Homo!" style post where I answer questions from you the readers. For this to happen though I need...well...questions from you the readers. So hit me up! Dornilust@gmail.com gets them to me...or Dorn@vtext.com gets them to my cell. Just please don't expect me to be funnier than Mario Cantone when he did a similar thing for Chappelle Show.
2) I started this blog with 2 goals in mind. The first was to help quit smoking. The idea was that instead of lighting up when I got the urge I would do something blog related. This proved much more helpful than my first plan (after about the 6th craving I thought my dick was gonna fall off) and has worked very well so far. I've been smoke free since April 1! My second goal for the blog was to meet more gay WoW players. So far so good! I've made the acquaintance of several so far and actually had some hot cyborz with one of them. (thanx Kerp...it was fun)
Although both those reasons for blogging are ongoing motivations, I'd like to add a 3rd purpose. I want to turn this blog into a community effort. Fagcraft deserves an arsenal of queens to blog on all aspects of the lives of homosexual gamers. Maybe you already blog but want to keep yours "spreadsheet theory crafting" based. Maybe you're in the closet and want to blog anonymously about the hate you run across. Whatever floats your boat...come let your freak flag fly. If you can make it funny, gay, and gaming related then I got an author spot for you no matter your gender or orientation. If you think you'd like to join the team shoot me some mail!
3) The Blizzard in game gaydar seems to be malfunctioning. It's labelling me as a drag queen.
4) I spent some time today mapping out tagging options so my posts would be easier to sort through. When I finished however, every post was labeled "gay." This apparently defeats the purpose...so I'm gonna have to come up with a better plan.
5) While I was not thrilled Allison didn't make the top 3 last night, hottie Kris did!!!!
1) I'd like to do a recurring "Ask a Homo!" style post where I answer questions from you the readers. For this to happen though I need...well...questions from you the readers. So hit me up! Dornilust@gmail.com gets them to me...or Dorn@vtext.com gets them to my cell. Just please don't expect me to be funnier than Mario Cantone when he did a similar thing for Chappelle Show.
2) I started this blog with 2 goals in mind. The first was to help quit smoking. The idea was that instead of lighting up when I got the urge I would do something blog related. This proved much more helpful than my first plan (after about the 6th craving I thought my dick was gonna fall off) and has worked very well so far. I've been smoke free since April 1! My second goal for the blog was to meet more gay WoW players. So far so good! I've made the acquaintance of several so far and actually had some hot cyborz with one of them. (thanx Kerp...it was fun)
Although both those reasons for blogging are ongoing motivations, I'd like to add a 3rd purpose. I want to turn this blog into a community effort. Fagcraft deserves an arsenal of queens to blog on all aspects of the lives of homosexual gamers. Maybe you already blog but want to keep yours "spreadsheet theory crafting" based. Maybe you're in the closet and want to blog anonymously about the hate you run across. Whatever floats your boat...come let your freak flag fly. If you can make it funny, gay, and gaming related then I got an author spot for you no matter your gender or orientation. If you think you'd like to join the team shoot me some mail!
3) The Blizzard in game gaydar seems to be malfunctioning. It's labelling me as a drag queen.
5) While I was not thrilled Allison didn't make the top 3 last night, hottie Kris did!!!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
Daddy Dornbucks
I was hanging out in Orgrimmar the other day when I heard the unmistakable sound of show tunes coming from the Valley of Honor. Never one to miss a good musical, I wandered over to see what was up. How surprised do you think I was when I saw a little kid belting out "It's a Hard Knock Life" for all he was worth? I had to get this kid out of here and take him on an educational tour of the real world to prepare him for what will surely amount to a fabulous career. In short, I had to gay it forward.
I think the orphanage matron got the wrong idea, but 50 gold shut her up and she looked the other way. Little Orphan Faggie and I were off. I figured the best thing for this kid would be for him to just tag around with me on my daily routine. First we went to blow Hodir's horn.

Not bad for a first timer. My only other criticism would be that he used his hand too much while blowing...but these are things you learn over time. Next we went to catch up on the guild gossip with the girls.
Here we learned a valuable lesson: How your gear looks is much more important than what it does for your stats. If he learns nothing else from me, I hope he remembers this.
One of my guildies sent me a hot tip (no pun intended) on another "dick hidden in the landscape of Azeroth" so we went to go check it out.
Yup. He was right. That's not even remotely hidden. It's just...a giant dick.
This is usually the point in the day when I get shit faced and ride around on my motorcycle until I crash into something. While this isn't something I'm proud of nor is it a good example in front of the youngin, I don't want to sugar coat things for him.

Not to fear however...there's still a good lesson to be learned from this experience.
I think the orphanage matron got the wrong idea, but 50 gold shut her up and she looked the other way. Little Orphan Faggie and I were off. I figured the best thing for this kid would be for him to just tag around with me on my daily routine. First we went to blow Hodir's horn.
Not bad for a first timer. My only other criticism would be that he used his hand too much while blowing...but these are things you learn over time. Next we went to catch up on the guild gossip with the girls.
One of my guildies sent me a hot tip (no pun intended) on another "dick hidden in the landscape of Azeroth" so we went to go check it out.
This is usually the point in the day when I get shit faced and ride around on my motorcycle until I crash into something. While this isn't something I'm proud of nor is it a good example in front of the youngin, I don't want to sugar coat things for him.
Not to fear however...there's still a good lesson to be learned from this experience.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Stop objectifying me...but not really.
Yesterday, WoWInsider's "The Daily Quest" (when they gonna link me? QQ) had a link up to an article in response to the "These bunny ears are objectifying me blah blah fucking blah," argument currently circulating the WoW blogosphere. I got a few emails from y'all wanting me to hop on over to the site and wander into the fray of comments. I guess the thought is that I would have something to say on this issue. Hate to disappoint...ya thought wrong. I couldn't fucking care less. Srsly, I have enough to worry about in the "is this fair/right/ok" area of real life to really give a shit about whether people are getting offended in virtual worlds. If you don't like it, log the fuck off.
The real reason I didn't get into it however is that really I'm just here for the dick jokes...and an occasional vagina reference. Some people take this internet thing way too seriously...shoot me if I become one of them.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Where my Queens at?
Check it out...the guild is recruiting! This is where I should be telling you about our progression (8/14 heroic Ulduar) or our raid times (6-10 CST: M, W, Th) or the specifics (Horde - Scarlet Crusade - US) but I'm not going to bore y'all with any of that. What I'm really looking for is more homos to raid with. It does get a little tiresome bringing enough fabulous to each and every raid to fill the quota.
So if you don't suck (in game that is) and you're one of the classes/specs below and you want "out" of your homophobic guild of crap...give us a look!
Here's what we're looking for:
So if you don't suck (in game that is) and you're one of the classes/specs below and you want "out" of your homophobic guild of crap...give us a look!
Here's what we're looking for:
1 Druid (Boomkin)

1 Druid (Feral Tank)

1 Druid (Resto)

1 Paladin (Holy)

1 Priest (Shadow)

1 Druid (Feral Tank)
1 Druid (Resto)
1 Paladin (Holy)
1 Priest (Shadow)
So if you're one of the above, or aren't but would consider yourself an exceptional applicant, pop over to our recruitment forums and drop an app!
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